i don't think i can do it

4 days after AP called me and blew my life. This went on for years with many women, maybe all of our 20+ years of relationship. Today I don't want to get out of bed, although I know that I stink, I feel sick all the time, my dreams are very cruel to me when I manage to fall asleep. I just can't imagine having the strength to go through divorce https://onlinedivorcer.com/county-specific-resources/new-york/divorce-in-queens-county